Friday, March 30, 2012

Doubt has found me again, and she's keeping pretty good pace with me...

Here it is, the day before the next race, just a 5K - and I'm worried I won't be able to finish the course.  The fundraising is complete (we did pretty good!), I might even get a t-shirt in addition to the bib.  Bib will go in the scrapbook that will be made this year's end, the t-shirt - into the pile o' post-workout wear.  You know, those clothes you put on just to get from the gym to the house before cleaning up.  No, I don't train in the nude (egads), but when I'm done with a training session - there is not one iota square inch of dry clothing on me - if it weren't for the wonders of chemistry, I bet the mascara would be dripping down the neck too.

If I'm so worried because of the current discomfort* I'm feeling, then why am I so darn determined to run all these races I've registered for?  Perhaps it can be said:

"You can keep going and your legs might hurt for a week or you can quit and your mind will hurt for a lifetime." ~Mark Allen

* Right Piriformis is a 6 out of 10 today
* Right Peroneus is a 7 out of 10 today
* Right outer hip is a dull 4 out of 10 today
* Right shin is kind of tingly/numb at the moment

So I run, because I've been in those funks, those ebbs - I'm in one now - and I want this training to mean something.  I want this physical therapy to work, and I want to demonstrate it works.  I may not be 100% today, but I have definitely improved since February 25th and I plan to only improve further.  Slow down young grasshopper, slow down...

...and I have.  Which is why I'm worried, which is why doubt has found me - she knows all too well the easiest place to look for me are in those ebbs of fear, anxiety and worry.  I'm not running the distances I should be at this stage in my preparations for the 1/2 marathons coming up this spring/summer.  So now my mind is blown - do I go to the races and use the run/walk technique?  Do I run until I literally fall to pieces?  If I stop to walk, the mind will forever remind me that I failed.  Meanwhile logic and sensibility will do their best to rationalize that there are still a couple decades of life left to this body - try to get to the end of the timeline with most of the body still left intact.

So how do I push through the discomfort and continue to train for something I'm not even sure I will be able to do?  Support crew - for me it's about the support I have received from the best of friends and family.  I will be always indebted to my Sensei, his training and the level of knowledge he shared with me will always be remembered.  My parents always give encouragement, shoot, if I ever complain about this stuff to them, they would just reply, "be grateful that you still have both legs".  [There's a story behind that, bound to share that one some day!]  ...and they are right, slow down grasshopper, slow down... and my running sherpa, my 'half-cell', my voice of reason and simultaneously voice of mischief.  She knows who she is ;)  Don't you Laurie :)  All of the folks I've met in my life have crossed paths with me for various lengths of season - and each one for a reason.

Just like this piriformis syndrome, I am learning so much from this injury.  It is likely to be with me forever (so it seems, hence the term 'syndrome, 'eh?) so I learn, I live through it, and hopefully, I will be able to just keep on running.

Here's to a completed course to report back on tomorrow!

Ta,
@am3er

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Beer Run_GSO 2012 by amzpnc at Garmin Connect - Details

I did it!  I ran the full course for the Beer Run_GSO 2012 and didn't stop once!  ...although I wanted to at a couple points - so it quickly became a mental race vs. a race for time.  A couple times I actually thought to myself 'come on, you want to be able to say you ran this course without stopping!'  [and here I am, able to honestly say I did!]

I find, that when you are running with a pain, it can be a challenge to enjoy the run itself, the participants around you, even the beautiful spring blossoms and weather (although it was 75 degrees in March - definitely hotter than any training session thus far in 2012!).  Once the race was run, the piriformis and peroneus muscles felt white hot (actually, they were on fire within the first mile) but my mind took full control and I couldn't stop running.  After I crossed that finish line, first things first - stop the Garmin!  Then I transitioned, from a run to a trot, then to a walk - and walk I did.  A couple blocks worth.  I needed to get away from the pack, I needed to distance myself and let the pain just take over (I wear my feeling on my sleeves and my pain in my face - it's not pretty).  I can't remember the last time the quads raged with such anger, when the calves popped and squealed with defeat, even the gracillus muscles were spitting nails at me.  So I stopped, I stooped, I stretched, and I collected myself.  You did it girl, you didn't quit.  You weren't well-prepared, but you didn't completely fail.  Good girl.

Of course, it was a 'Beer Run' so there was Natty Green's Buckshot and Wildflower to taste test!  The husband did his duty and drank my free drinks for me while I sucked down a  chunk of banana and a couple wedges of orange ...and 4 bottle of water.  When you run in weather 20 degrees higher than your typical run - it's amazing how the body adapts!  I became the human sponge for the afternoon - I'm definitely glad I brought my FuelBelt Sprint with me during the run!  Imagine if I hadn't!

Well, several ice packs later, a couple Ibuprofen, and several rounds of TPtherapy to the legs, I am already getting excited about the Human Race 5K in t-minus 12 days 19 hours and 40 minutes...!  Glutton for pain and punishment?  No, I just really love running for what it makes me - what I have learned about me, my capabilities, and my perceptions - which are constantly tested and expectations consistently blown beyond their boundaries.

Nothing is accomplished in a straight and narrow line, no one climbs a mountain in one step, but if you take one step at a time, you will eventually get there.  Until then, just keep on running.

Ta,
-am3er

Thursday, March 15, 2012

GIDDY giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy!

I ran last night!  Okay, it was on the treadmill and no more than 15:00 in duration, but I did some runnnning!  Five minute walk, 5:00 run, 5:00 walk, 10:00 run, 5:00 walk, 15:00 run, etc. until I hit 5.0 miles (but I'm a SIPHES so....) I ended up walking/running for 60:00+ and managed a measly 5.5 miles.  Ironically, the higher the knees, the easier the run.  Dang, my track coach was right all those years ago... huh.

So that was what 18 days after the initial 'injury'?  Not bad, but now the real test for me - stay calm and run smart at this Saturday's 5 mile Beer Run race.  The hamstrings aren't going to roll over and just take this increased work load.  Lots of trigger point therapy and other PT scheduled between now and then.  This foam roller of mine is easily one of my top 5 tools that I refuse to live without (http://tptherapy.com/).  Shoot, I actually bring it with me to work, the gym, it is literally wherever I am these days.

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts." ~ Richard Bach

Interesting quote (I'm a quoteaholic, yes), and at such an interesting time too.  I have learned a lot - some things never change (I'm persistent), some things you learn 'again' (patience little one, patience), and some things you figure out for the first time (eureka!).  Such as the tightened thigh muscles causing the hips to rotate outwards, the foot stance to under pronate, and the back to appear to be the source of the problem - when actually it's all because of the inner legs!  My educational training is in the world of molecular and cellular toxicology, with physiology on the side as a fascination of sorts.  However, now, it's front and center and I feel this set back has been a gift in disguise.

Realtors may say it's all about location, location and location.  This runner thinks it's all about stretches, stretching, and streeeeetching.

As one of my running role models says: "Time is not linear, it moves in circles.  Time is seasonal." (~ Amby Burfoot).  So we learn about ourselves, we have set backs, and yes, we will blossom yet again.

Giddy and excited to be progressing again - just gonna keep on running 'till He calls me home!

Ta,
-am3er

Monday, March 12, 2012

"Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat." ~ Napolean Hill

Well said.

Sixteen days into this depressing ebb of no running, but my nemesis has a name, and I?  I - have a plan, and it's working.  By golly, it's working.  I'm one of those self-disciplining types, anoyingly persistent at that.  Perhaps that is something to carve on the tombstone someday.

Back to that opportunity - it's been a keen learning opportunity for me - and I'm even going to bite the bullet and force this stubborn body to start taking yoga class this week... stay tuned for those horror stories...

I digress, I'm writing this b/c I want to spread the wealth of information - no one, and I mean NO one should suffer this pain.  I know there are worse pains out there - I've dealt with some and pray I never come close to dealing with so many others.  So to that end I want to share what I've learned.  There are so many helpful articles on preventing and dealing with piriformis syndrome.  Running Times the magazine has a nice article on describing the pain and more importantly explaining the muscles involved.  For us physiologists, toxicologists, biologists and everyone who loves to not only learn, but understand the root of a problem - Cathy Fiesler did a sweet job.  Who knew it was the poor maintenance of inner thigh muscle flexibility causing the hip abductors to tighten and alter the gait and inflame the glute musculature?  The kinesiologists, that who!  I, who almost went to grad school for such a degree, did not - and what a useful bit of knowledge that would have been, say, three weeks - nay, over 12 years ago!

'Tis lunch time here in my world and I've got a hot date with my Trigger Point Therapy foam roller and yoga strap.  Hip abductors and adductors are about to got all excited and whipped up into a frenzy - which should make for an interesting afternoon of office meetings.  Tonight, some Jacob's ladder work, lunges, the sexy SLED press, oh - yes, I do have a healthy infatuation with my gym time.  My land of escape where no one can tell me what to do - that is unless, one of the kickin' PTs suggest a new exercise or enhanced form, I'm always game for their insight too :)

As always, be patient beginners, learn wisely you bull-headed kids (like me), find enjoyment in all that you do, and above all else, just keep on running (even if it's only in your dreams like mine right now ;)

Ta,
-am3er

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I mean endure, not 'injure'.

A fellow runner tweeted that quote earlier today and it couldn't have come at a better time.  I know I am bull-headed, I am persistent, I am self-disciplined, I am... stubborn.  When I am 'on a mission', there really is no reasoning with me, just ask the husband.  However, by [over] executing my favorite squat exercise just two weeks ago, I landed here - in the pit of piriformis fire.  I went too far, I bit off more than I could chew, I should not have put that extra 20 on before the wedged long bar squat and press.  I just love the overall workout that exercise gives you, and it's one of the few exercises that gets my HR up there like the circuit training does.

I'm that girl that goes for the sweat, not the style.  I don't expect to look cute out there, I aim for self-progress.  I focus on the form, not the insanely buff dudes (IBDs) lifting one squat rack over.  I imagine there are jokes said about me, but no one confronts me, no one tries to move me from the bench I'm on or the rack I'm using.  Have I earned respect on the gym floor?  I don't know about that, I just know I can lift heavier weights than I could before and that feels good.  Enkephalin-induced euphoria-good.

Of course, I say this and I haven't run in 2 weeks now... but today was my first day back in the gym after those said two weeks.  Yes, impatient.  I think we have established that much about me already.  No running, no jumping, just side lunges and step-ups, and reverse lunges and forward lunges and chiros and... some call it masochistic, I call it disciplined physical therapy.  I'm just glad I went, I'm glad I got my sweat on, I'm glad it's been two solid days without touching the bottle of ibuprofen, I'm glad I have my hope and runner's spirit still intact.

I'm also stoked that I have a therapy session in just over an hour.  Laugh at massage therapy all you want - it got me out of my funk last year and it will do so again.  'Well hold on, if you do this therapy, why the injury?'  Great question grasshopper - I haven't been since December 2011 and up until that time I had been going 2-3 times each month.  Three months without therapy (I 'got busy' with work - such a lame a// such a stupid excuse in retrospect) and bad form for one second - that's all it takes.  That's all it takes... the 'oh-no' second, faster than the nanosecond it turns out...

I'm getting there, the trigger point therapy and stretches and heating pads (oh, and I sat in the gym's sauna for 15:00 post-workout today: AWWWW-SOME!).  Slow but steady, roll often, stretch long, be hopeful this will soon pass, focus on the goals you want to achieve, and above all else (when you have the flexibility back): just keep on running.

Next weekend - the 5 mile beer run!  Let's do this!!

Be positive,
-am3er

Friday, March 9, 2012

Not All Tingly Tingles are Fun

So it turns out, I've been dealing with this piriformis syndrome for more than just the past two weeks - try 10+ years.  'Back in the day' (no pun intended, but hey hey...), like circa 2005 when it was starting to get pretty bad, and then again in 2008 when it hurt enough that I actually went to see an M.D. - turns out this exact same pain I have right now was the same then, and it is/was from piriformis syndrome.  The initial diagnosis was Degenerative Disk Disease (aka "DDD") and the treatment was serious physical therapy.  Well, it was either that or fusion surgery and I'm not interested in sautering my L5-S1 and such.  What I didn't know was whether I should have sought a second opinion or not.

Should have.

Still, pain management is not like anything else I've ever dealt with, ever.

It's hard to describe this pain in the lower back and arse, I just know that I wouldn't wish this on anyone, not even those that have done me seriously wrong in my past.  Imagine a walnut (or two, or three) wedged in between those gluteus maximus muscles.  Now imagine a pair of vice grips gripping the muscle mass and twisting it - clockwise or counter clockwise, you pick.  This muscle tightness plus the inflammation pinches on the innervating nerves which refers pain down the ITB track and down the outside of the calve -  that 'tingle' is not fun.  The numbness on the bottom of the foot - so not cool.  Walking like a gimp - and it's not even Halloween?  Totally not sexy.

So that was a fun trip down memory lane - now I have a good looking path forward and that's where the focus shall be.  It's good to look back, don't get me wrong - we should all learn from our past - but we must learn wisely and proceed boldly.  Persist, discipline yourself, set goals, and just be positive.

Just Keep On Running,
-am3er
Okay, so this is my very first post of my very first blog, for the very first everything and I will humbly admit I don't think I'm doing this correctly.  Shoot, I doubt anyone will actually read this blog.  This might become an electronic diary of a runner, writing to herself every now and then, journal about my hurdles I've faced, failures I muck through, [some] (sweet) successes, and most importantly - learnings that have come with a lifestyle of wishful running.

Yes, wishful.  I'm 5'11", used to be 6'.  Thanks to back issues, I'm shrinking at the ripe old age of... 29 with 6 years experience...  Thanks to the back *stress*, reaching my best potential in running is a slow going process.  I actually started this blog because I used someone else's blog just yesterday to help me bust through a current hurdle I'm dealing with - btw, thank you Jaymee from 'Run Away Fast' for your excellent article on piriformis syndrome!  I watched those YouTube videos of the ballerina that can contort in ways I cannot, and even watched that strange guy in that hotel setting discuss the difference between sciatica and piriformis syndrome.  AMAZING.  Within 36 hours of trigger point therapy and additional stretches (on top of what I have been doing) - I can stand for more than 5 minutes now!  Yes, piriformis is a pain in your *ahem* and it was that bad.  Still gonna have to 'stand down' from tomorrow's 5K race :( but I think I should be back on board for the St. Patrick's Day Beer Run next weekend!

Okay, so much to journal - very giddy about all the races I have lined up this year.  If anyone is out there reading this elementary attempt of a blog, stay tuned for race updates!

Be positive, think carefully, learn wisely, be patient and persistent, and above all -
Just Keep On Running,

-am3er